If you’re a boring writer, you should probably hire this guy to read your crap for you. Ditch the whole “objective utopian” speech synth thing used by 4chan, Jennifer Chan, and the Lenox Guyz in favor of this totally nice dude’s country twang. At $.02/word, he’ll make your stodgy overuse of passive voice and academic jargon seem palatable.
Just imagine how spicy it’d be if you could get him to read garbage like the following:
The screen-based, gratuitous distribution of information on the internet challenges notions of tangibility and uniqueness.
First, nothing is in a fixed state: i.e., everything is anything else, whether because any object is capable of becoming another type of object or because an object already exists in flux between multiple instantiations.
Or even this (actually, just replace that
Link reblogged from autodespair.